Stress. :/

Struggling through adversities, and somehow I'm tired of being hardworking.
I  have no idea. Just wondering if my competitiveness has gone down.

Somehow, in my own thoughts,
if I lose my competitive ability, I would fell into a deep depression and feeling lost.

I know I shouldn't be that negative, but sometimes, things just don't go according to what I've planned.
Tried hard to be a successful person, but sometimes feel lonely because of my tolls.
When I try to get some life, there's no one for me to look for.
It's like a real slap on my face. Contradictions, oxymoron, that's how life usually comes to me.

Look at the bright side, would it be another pace for me to learn something new, something which is out of my expectations, something unexpected?

Monday to Sunday, got exhausted everyday.
Rushing everyday just to get everything done, ran out of fuel and still think I'm strong.

I know I shouldn't take it seriously what people have said about me.
Honestly, attempts to satisfy everyone is impossible.

Lecturer said that I'm not suitable to be in the kitchen.
It seems nothing. But I do not know why this sentence keep on recalling in my mind.
And flashbacks flow into my mind,
Studying really hard, being really focused on what I want, did researches on this field, apply for scholarships and loan, burn myself at the both ends, strive hard to be the top student, and in the end, it's something I don't wish to hear.
And someone telling me that I'm not meant for this.

Oouch. I know I'm such a easily heart break person.
At the moment, I was really disappointed like never before.
I lost my focus abruptly, and my mind was blank.
Is that mean that all my hard works are just fog?

I feel like, I'm nothing, an anonymous, I don't know who I am.

Dear Jesus, I'll commit these frustrations and confusion into your hand.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen. :)