Exhausted

Days have been quite negative lately.

I know God is with me nevertheless.

Yes, seems like I lose a lot of things, leaving life uncertain, at least at this stage.

To much things to digest, but I can't throw some out.
Dream and Realistic somewhat contradict, standing at the crossroad, I think I shall be realistic.
I am dare to dream but I want to change the reality to the way I wanted it to be.
Of course, life is not a piece of cake. Many times, the world had told me I'm always a failure cause I'm just a human, all my hard works are just playing fool with myself.

God told me I shall not be defeated for He has overcome the world.
Amen. I truly believe that.
No matter what happens, I will still do my best in everything.

Yes, and life always plays tricks with me, I have no idea at all, how to get rid of them.
People who work hard might not succeed in life.
Envying people who is abundant financially, and of course they can always talk about dreams, of course.
Wanted to make things better but ended up everyone thinks you suck.
Watching chances pass by, but you can do nothing.
It seems like you have a choice, but actually you don't.

Used to eat alone, shop alone, drive alone, work alone...
Am I independent or just trying to hide something that I don't realize?
Something's wrong with me.

Tolerance

It's almost end of the year.
I'm glad that I've come across all the events, 

and the word, T-O-L-E-R-A-N-C-E,

has finally teach me a lesson. 

Year of tolerance,

Bumped into all sorts of people, 

with all sorts of characters and personality, 

it's an eye-opening year. 

Those were the time I once thought I was mature enough to differentiate who's good and who's not.

I'm totally wrong. 

I was too naive, thinking everyone would treat me good, if I treat them the same way.

But things can be deceiving and being misinterpreted. 

People do have different values and mindsets, isn't? 

If I tell someone that I've countered the things I encountered,

I suppose, one will just say "Welcome to the World, Hunnay. " 

Certainly, the world is complicated, 

and thank God,

The Bible says,

We don't belongs to the earth. :) 

There's nothing much I can do,

Keep the faith, keep believing, keep moving, keep focusing on God. 

Very the.. aiks. :/

I'm so sick of people who make everyone trusted him/her so well, 

just because of the jokes and things he/her tells everyone. 

Make fun, telling other people's secret and spreading rumors to gain trust from other people? 

Give me a break. 

Okay. *Take DEEP Breath*

Stress released. :) 

Let God handle everything, cause I'm nothing to convict a person. 

PEACE OUT. TEEEEHEEE! :) 

And everything revealed.

I was so so shocked after being told about the things happened behind the scene.

Never want to hurt anyone, but now,

back bitten. 

How terrifying the world is, even in the place where everyone thinks is the safest. 

It will be exhausting if I had to explain from A to Z. 

In fact, human beings are too complicated, and it might make it worse. 

Lookin' at the bright side, 

at least I know, 

the true colors of certain people. 

So.

Lord, May your righteousness be revealed. :) 

I don't know. :/

Some people just can't hide themselves. 

Well, he used to be so friendly, lovely,funny and caring. 

Everything has changed since I tell him the truth. 

So now, 

You're trying to play some trick? :P 

I'm so confused about the way you treat me now. 

Anyway, 

Hope that you are not just somebody that I used to know. 

:)

Blink of an eye.

I am currently 19 now, and I always asking myself,
'What have I done so far? "

Sometimes, I fall into a deep sentimentalism as more truths and realities reveal in life.
Time passed, time flies. Everything happens in a blink of an eye.

When it comes to a pause in one's hectic life, he or she will start to think and recall back the things and memories that flow into his or her mind.
Analyzing them with different facial expression as each story run through the mind.

When I was born, 
I have both my grandparents from the father's and mother's side.
And now, three of them have gone with the Lord. :)


Two more days, I will leave this place I have already used to it so much, to a place where I've never been before for 3 months.

The period is not long, but it's long enough for me to settle down and think about,


what are the things that I should cherish? 

When I first announce that I will be leaving soon, my family was quite shock with the decision.
My grandma cried, she said, she will miss me.
Aunty Chin went to Australia for further studies, around 1 and a half years.
Long enough to make us miss her.
Kenneth Bro shifted out and yes, I kinda lose a person that I always tell my stories to.
Dad is in outstation for work.
And I'll be flying to Redang in 2 more days.

Ofcourse, I would say it is such a great blessing that everyone has their own destiny in their lives, and gradually, the family is expanding, in numbers and in different places. Haha:)

I just realized that, we are no longer family with small kids, running around, quarreling with brothers and sisters, talking about so-called secrets and stuffs we used to do when we are young. :)

Friends hung out with me at the very last minute, just to say a good bye.
Isn't it warm and lovely to have a big bunch of friends that love and care for you?
And I know I have been lying to myself that, friends are just a tool with a false front.

I know, i know, I will give a big slap to myself.
I hate this feelings where the Satan lies to me that there's no true love in this world.
I shall follow after God's word, to love and to be loved.


God, please forgive me for being so unfaithful.


I love my life, love the people I meet, love my enemies who have taught me to be stronger.

I love my Lord, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for everything. :)

Here and Now. :)

Wooooooyeah! :D

My first internship had finished. It was a blast,seriously.

Nevertheless, when I try to recall the days which I wake up at 5 and go home around 6, sometimes 11pm.

It was super exhausting!

I would like to pay my respect and tributes to all the hotelier and chefs.

Iron man and woman, thumbs up! :D

 

And yet, it's another time for me to go for my second internship! :)
Well, far away from this forest of buildings, cars and cold-blood stuffs that exist without any sense of life.

Yeah man, you are right! Imma heading to somewhere which is extremely appealing and breathtaking! :)

 

Yes! Do not doubt! It's here. :) 

I wish my placement in this place will be a memorable one. I know it will be, God's blessings after me and I shall look to Him, whenever I go. :)

Nevertheless, I would miss my friends and family kinda bad, for I have not leave the mainland since I was born. This is the first time that I need to fly off to another place for such long period of time. :) 

It's time to grow up, girl. :) 

Time gallops.

In this year of 2011,
I think I have an insight of my true colours.
As in, I prefer the current me.

Sometimes, the reality just give you cool splash and tons of lemons.
But who cares, every time I pray and lay my life before God,
and surrender myself so that I can live the way He wanted me to live,
I have to be crystal clear that the selfish in me has to be broken down, destroyed and demolished so that I can live a selfless life, which I can actually bless others and be more fruitful. :)

Make use of your 'lemons'! :)

Friendships have really tried on me for the past few years.
Over, over and over again, I have been wondering why do my friends always ditch me when I need them.
And why do they like to bully me and hurt me with those unreal rumours?

Am I really that lousy? I always ask myself.
But through years, I have an insight that somehow, in needy times or soon after some times,
we are still friends at last.

I truly believe that everyone does face such conflict.

Some complain that you are way too busy for them.
Some complain that you are dull, too serious, never want to join them.
Some complain that your religion  has occupied your time and restricted you from going certain places.
Some complain that you are not their type.
Some ditched you because they found someone whom they think is awesom-er that you are.
and some just left without any reason.

Just let it be part of your life, it's something that has taught you to be stronger.
LION HEART! <3

Jesus is our friend, if you feel lonely please tell him.
He is always there beside, and He is the ONLY one who ALWAYS beside you.

I understand that we can't live with ourselves, stay alone all the time.
But think about this,
You will never meet your true friends if you don't realize the fake ones.
Even small small things test them, and you will understand the whole picture.

Yeap! :)

However, don't make it a melancholy.
In my point of view, there's no such thing as FAKE friends,
maybe they just found someone who suits them more,
so why don't just bless them and move on?
Perhaps, God has reserved the best one for you? :) You gotta discover it yourself.
Let go and let God.
It will be better if you live with an opened heart. :)

Stressed = Desserts :)

My last blog post was really depressed, I know.
However, today after Leader Cell in church, once again God has reminded me about His words. :)
Psalms Chapter 23. :)

The Lord is my shepherd! And He will always be!

Therefore, I need not worry about my life and whatever.
I shall be with Him every time, every where.
Recovering now.

See, I'm not easily defeated because Jesus never ever leave me alone when I fell.
He's my supporter, my motivator as always.

Stress. :/

Struggling through adversities, and somehow I'm tired of being hardworking.
I  have no idea. Just wondering if my competitiveness has gone down.

Somehow, in my own thoughts,
if I lose my competitive ability, I would fell into a deep depression and feeling lost.

I know I shouldn't be that negative, but sometimes, things just don't go according to what I've planned.
Tried hard to be a successful person, but sometimes feel lonely because of my tolls.
When I try to get some life, there's no one for me to look for.
It's like a real slap on my face. Contradictions, oxymoron, that's how life usually comes to me.

Look at the bright side, would it be another pace for me to learn something new, something which is out of my expectations, something unexpected?

Monday to Sunday, got exhausted everyday.
Rushing everyday just to get everything done, ran out of fuel and still think I'm strong.

I know I shouldn't take it seriously what people have said about me.
Honestly, attempts to satisfy everyone is impossible.

Lecturer said that I'm not suitable to be in the kitchen.
It seems nothing. But I do not know why this sentence keep on recalling in my mind.
And flashbacks flow into my mind,
Studying really hard, being really focused on what I want, did researches on this field, apply for scholarships and loan, burn myself at the both ends, strive hard to be the top student, and in the end, it's something I don't wish to hear.
And someone telling me that I'm not meant for this.

Oouch. I know I'm such a easily heart break person.
At the moment, I was really disappointed like never before.
I lost my focus abruptly, and my mind was blank.
Is that mean that all my hard works are just fog?

I feel like, I'm nothing, an anonymous, I don't know who I am.

Dear Jesus, I'll commit these frustrations and confusion into your hand.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen. :)

:)

Dear Lord, Please save me from heartache.

I'm patient enough for all these, and I'm tired.
I guess, I'll just surrender and see how God resolves it.
I know I shall be optimist, and I'll always be.
But somehow, something will deteriorate and can't be preserved.
I tried hard, but it doesn't work.

However, I know the pain will build up my immunity, and I shall not be defeated, as usual. :)

Amen.
Thank You Lord.

Teeeeheeee:D

Well. Urm. 

Sometimes, I don't really understand how will it be, if you fall for someone. 

But yeah, it's kinda insecure, don't you think so?

I don't know why am I so funny these days, 

laugh at myself because of these lovey stuff.

*Shake Head* 

Never mind, I don't want to be so lost.*LAUGH* 

As usual, I'm still the awesome single xiao ming. Teeeeheee:D  

I'm INNOCENT. 

Thank you Lord. :) 

Term 2 Final!

Having Final Exam this week !
Dear Lord, have mercy on me, please! :P

Just finished my Food Science paper,
More difficult than what I expected, urgh.
Avidin, I should have know you earlier. Didn't really know that you binds with Mr.Biotin.

Well, 1 marks gone. Never mind. *Smile*

And Yeah, Planned to go FHM today, but no transport. Too Bad So Sad.
All the best to all my seniors and chefs who participate in the Culinaire! :D

Back to school! :)

Hey peeps! :)
It has been weeks, I did not update my blog.
But yeah, who cares. The blog is just for me and myself. :))

I hearts UNI! :)
It is a blast, never get bored in college. Friends, Food and Studies.
I believe that it's God's blessing after all.

Nonetheless, there are always some mishaps right?
Some guys, I would rather run away from them. Weirdossss.
I'm sorry to say so, I don't mean to dislike them.
But just, you know........gross. :)

I'll try my best, pray harder for them.

Term 2 commences, and I did not loss my enthusiasm for the food.
Ahhhh, everyday I'm doing something I like!
Overwhelming happiness. :)

Term 1 results released. Surprised!
Thank you Jesus for that!
You know what?
God helps me to manage my time, gave me wisdom to organise my stuffs,
and all the surprises happened in my life never fail to make my day. :)

Let His name be glorified! Amen! :D

Random. :)

One more week of holiday. :)
Gotta make it adventurous one.
Cooked a lot of stuff throughout this holiday.
At least, more frequent compare to previous days.

It's kinda hilarious, when you can't really find someone to accompany you and initially you thought there's always someone available huh?:)
Don't get me wrong, I AM NOT EMO.
I'm too naive sometimes, bad bad bad. LOL.


And this reminds me not to rely too much on human beings, God is always there for you, no matter what circumstance it is. :)

Peace Out! :)

Be.Lives Youth Camp

Second Photo Collection!

Glad to see campers with pale white faces roaming around, it was amusing yet entertaining. 

Well, you guys are really bold as I can see that some of you had a hardship with the flours on faces but still laughing and smiling. 

By the way, it hurts huh? :) 

Awesome-powsome people like you guys should be complemented! 

Grateful for all the cooperation from you all throughout the camp and together we made it a memorable one. :) 

God Bless! 

Peace out! :) 

Be.Lives Youth Camp.

Let the pictures tell the story. :)

3 days 1 night, we stayed in Bayu Beach Resort, Port Dickson.

It was a blast! Though there are some flaws.

Thank God for the saved souls, they are now our sisters and brothers in Christ!  

It was really a good experience for me as a committee. :) 

Good Job to all campers! 

May all the glory to our Lord! :)

P/S: Those pictures are just teasers, more yet to come! :) Credits to Shun Li. :)

Photography Collection.

Just some random pictures taken by me.

 :)

Gloomy Red. 

Butterfly.

Firework. 

Cameroon.

Hibiscus.